i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
