Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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