yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
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his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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