My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
