you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize