Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
