You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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