I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
All I want is dick and wine.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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