Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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