I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
