I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize