No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
