even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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