The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
