im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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