i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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