belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
