Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
