Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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