better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
