Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
