So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize