thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
