So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
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Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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