Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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