It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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