I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize
