so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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