do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
