how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
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the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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