she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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