problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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