I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
