Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
