He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
