her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
