Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who died my cat blue again?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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