I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize