nutella sex= disaster
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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