I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
