If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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