Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
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The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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