She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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