I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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