dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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