Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
