i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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