I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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