that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
