Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
