would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
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Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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