Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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