Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.

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  (616): I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does. http://tfl.nu/4jqf
  Replies (4) Good night (1153) Bad night (500)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.

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  (720): morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore. http://tfl.nu/srrk
  Replies (23) Good night (1011) Bad night (3324)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?

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  (503): I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number? http://tfl.nu/ltxf
  Replies (55) Good night (3315) Bad night (1064)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass

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  (503): i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass http://tfl.nu/zsw3
  Replies (25) Good night (1263) Bad night (3323)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...

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  (617): I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing... http://tfl.nu/p474
  Replies (21) Good night (1231) Bad night (4979)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..

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  (973): I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends.. http://tfl.nu/k6dk
  Replies (16) Good night (1020) Bad night (3118)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

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  (484): I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations. http://tfl.nu/uf69
  Replies (7) Good night (3181) Bad night (743)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.

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  (570): Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger. http://tfl.nu/xwib
  Replies (33) Good night (1622) Bad night (3595)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.

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  (765): I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it. http://tfl.nu/7uod
  Replies (9) Good night (1902) Bad night (561)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes

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  (216): 5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes http://tfl.nu/ja2o
  Replies (8) Good night (1548) Bad night (655)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?

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  (870): Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with? http://tfl.nu/z4e7
  Replies (31) Good night (537) Bad night (2387)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand

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  (603): I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand http://tfl.nu/gtek
  Replies (8) Good night (2114) Bad night (402)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?

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  (920): My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls? http://tfl.nu/f946
  Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (761)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  This has been a Party Success Story

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  (719): The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets. (719): This has been a Party Success Story http://tfl.nu/swco
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (256)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children

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  (937): somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children http://tfl.nu/47si
  Replies (4) Good night (496) Bad night (606)

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