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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with

  (217): View more from Illinois

  well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (315): View more from New York

  you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?

  Fav 5 120 7

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• (406): View more from Montana

  There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"

  Fav 2 21 83

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.

  Fav 1 19 50

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