I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
