if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
its not stalking. its research.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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