gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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