No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
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The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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