I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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