at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
