I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Holy sore nipples Batman
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
